Yvonne was a woman I worked with at my first job.\u00a0 She was one of the most annoying people I have ever met.\u00a0 She had a habit of talking in a “baby talk” voice all the fucking time.\u00a0 She smoked like a chimney and always smelled of cigarettes.\u00a0 Her and her husband were miserly to the point of insanity.\u00a0 And she was also allergic to her own hair.<\/p>\n
One day, as our manager and her crew of about 7 were driving out of town to work in Drumheller, Yvonne was acting up as she usually did.\u00a0 She never liked the manager, Judy and so she felt it necessary to complain about fucking EVERYTHING and to just be a stupid whiny bitch in general.\u00a0 This included complaining to Judy that she was driving to dangerously on the rural highway, and that this aggressive driving was re-injuring her shoulder.<\/p>\n
Judy was not driving dangerously, so Yvonne was just being a stupid bitch.\u00a0 So when Judy ignored her, Yvonne put her left hand on her right shoulder, grimaced her face with a look of pain, and braced her right hand and arm to the ceiling of the van.<\/p>\n
Now here’s where the story goes from pitiful to funny.<\/p>\n
Within minutes, everyone else in the van was holding the same pose.\u00a0 Even the new guy, who didn’t know anyone.\u00a0 Judy was laughing so hard she was in tears.<\/p>\n
I never asked Yvonne how her shoulder was after that.<\/p>\n
And to illustrate how cheap Yvonne and her husband were… they gave a ride to a coworker and stopped (yes, completely stopped the fucking vehicle) in the middle of rush-hour traffic because they saw a fucking pop can and wanted to pick it up.\u00a0 This was in the middle of Calgary’s busiest highway.<\/p>\n
And they made the coworker get out of the car to pick it up.\u00a0 Now that’s fucking insane.\u00a0 And it’s not like the good kind of insane that I have.\u00a0 No.\u00a0 I have a friendly, oddball kind of insane that makes me interesting.\u00a0 Not the kind of insane that gets innocent bystanders killed on the busiest highway for hundreds of miles.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Yvonne was a woman I worked with at my first job.\u00a0 She was one of the most annoying people I have ever met.\u00a0 She had a habit of talking in a “baby talk” voice all the fucking time.\u00a0 She smoked like a chimney and always smelled of cigarettes.\u00a0 Her and her husband were miserly to […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[323],"class_list":["post-1037","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-miscellaneous","tag-insane"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.gratuitousscience.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1037","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.gratuitousscience.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.gratuitousscience.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.gratuitousscience.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.gratuitousscience.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1037"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"http:\/\/www.gratuitousscience.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1037\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1039,"href":"http:\/\/www.gratuitousscience.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1037\/revisions\/1039"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.gratuitousscience.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1037"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.gratuitousscience.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1037"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.gratuitousscience.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1037"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}