{"id":4914,"date":"2013-09-08T13:32:23","date_gmt":"2013-09-08T19:32:23","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.gratuitousscience.com\/?p=4914"},"modified":"2013-09-08T19:48:00","modified_gmt":"2013-09-09T01:48:00","slug":"video-carnage-20-nintendo-game-boy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.gratuitousscience.com\/?p=4914","title":{"rendered":"Video Carnage 20 \u2014 Nintendo Game Boy"},"content":{"rendered":"

And now on Robotman’s blog, it’s time we put away our fancy, expensive home consoles and television sets and pick up a handheld system.\u00a0 Put on those pea-soup coloured glasses too, because it’s time to revisit the original Game Boy<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Our specs are lowered again for this post.\u00a0 Not only are we going back to 8-bit from 16-bit, but we’re ditching all those many colours fora palette of just four.\u00a0 I didn’t actually realize something when I reviewed golf games for the Game Boy<\/a>, but many people missed out on the original greenish-yellowish screen that the original hardware displayed.\u00a0 By the time the Game Boy Pocket<\/a> was released, the screen had been upgraded to four shades of lush, vibrant grey.<\/p>\n

But my screenshots will simulate the glorious pea-soup version, even though the excellent BGB Emulator<\/a> can display any damn colours I tell it to.<\/p>\n

\"Super<\/a><\/p>\n

Wave Race (1992)<\/span><\/p>\n

\"Wave<\/a><\/p>\n

I’ve heard people say that “Wave Race” is one of their favourite racers.\u00a0 They’re not talking about this version, but of the Nintendo 64 version.\u00a0 This one is the original.<\/p>\n

\"Wave<\/a><\/p>\n

I was surprised to learn that there is no Super Nintendo version of this game.<\/p>\n

\"Wave<\/a><\/p>\n

As you can see, I am very clever when it comes to entering a four-letter name.<\/p>\n

\"Wave<\/a><\/p>\n

It looks like there are two types of race in this game – Circuit and Slalom.\u00a0 I didn’t find this game terribly appealing, so I didn’t stick around to find out much more.\u00a0 The graphics are quite well done for a Game Boy game though.<\/p>\n

\"Wave<\/a><\/p>\n

Stats about the race are shown before you begin.\u00a0 The between-race music is standard for Game Boy.\u00a0 It’s catchy but unremarkable.<\/p>\n

\"Wave<\/a><\/p>\n

And starting positions are randomized.<\/p>\n

\"Wave<\/a><\/p>\n

When the race starts, racers are counted in.\u00a0 The B<\/strong> button accelerates your jet ski, and the A<\/strong> button acts as a turbo boost.\u00a0 Steering is handled by the age-old “left is always left and right is always right” method for top-down racers that trips some people up.<\/p>\n

\"Wave<\/a><\/p>\n

There are arrows laid down upon the shimmering seabed by Atlanteans passed.\u00a0 They somehow knew we would race in their jet ski tracks.\u00a0 There are also happy faces that pop in and out of those black squares, and there are power-ups along the tracks.\u00a0 I really don’t understand the ins and outs of this game because, like I said, it’s not for me.<\/p>\n

\"Wave<\/a><\/p>\n

I like to think this word is yelled out by an overexcited Brazilian football announcer<\/a>.<\/p>\n

\"Wave<\/a><\/p>\n

I did my usual best in these reviews.\u00a0 In other words – terrible.\u00a0 My racer is even crying.\u00a0 Fuck is a fucking pussy.<\/p>\n

\"Wave<\/a><\/p>\n

Rankings are shown after each race, just so I could check to see if I am still at the bottom.<\/p>\n

\"Wave<\/a><\/p>\n

The Slalom type race is handled much the same as the Circuit race, except you must race through sets of flags as you go.<\/p>\n

\"Wave<\/a><\/p>\n

This is where the Game Boy version of “Wave Race” reminds me a lot of the N64 version.\u00a0 I can’t tell where the hell I’m supposed to go, especially if the other racers are off the screen.\u00a0 I would have to memorize each track to really play this game, and with so many better racers out there… why bother?<\/p>\n

\"Wave<\/a><\/p>\n

I may be slow, but at least I’m making it through all the flags.<\/p>\n

\"Wave<\/a><\/p>\n

What?\u00a0 No points?\u00a0 I went through all those fucking flags!\u00a0 Even my racer is scratching his head!<\/p>\n

Fuck you Wave Race for the Game Boy.\u00a0 Your pretty graphics can’t hide your bad gameplay.\u00a0 Maybe one of these days I’ll see if you can redeem yourself when I try the GameCube version.<\/p>\n

I will part with this quote from the Dead Milkmen<\/a>:<\/p>\n

“Went out swimmin’ got hit by a jet ski.\u00a0 Everybody’s got nice stuff but me.”<\/em><\/p>\n

Motocross Maniacs (1989)<\/span><\/p>\n

\"Motocross<\/a><\/p>\n

This is a side-view racer from early in the Game Boy’s life.<\/p>\n

\"Motocross<\/a><\/p>\n

I didn’t expect much from this game when I started it up, but looks can be deceiving.\u00a0 There are three modes of play.\u00a0 You can race by yourself, or against an opponent – either the computer or a second player.<\/p>\n

\"Motocross<\/a><\/p>\n

The game has eight unique courses and three levels of difficulty.<\/p>\n

\"Motocross<\/a><\/p>\n

You have a time limit to race, so don’t dawdle.<\/p>\n

\"Motocross<\/a><\/p>\n

I thought this was going to be an “Excitebike” clone when I started playing.\u00a0 It has a few things in common with that game, but it’s really its own beast.\u00a0 The music is fantastic.\u00a0 Even though it’s 8-bit Game Boy tunage, it’s epic and propulsive.\u00a0 It’s very well done.<\/p>\n

\"Motocross<\/a><\/p>\n

The A<\/strong> button accelerates your bike and the B<\/strong> button uses one of your nitro boosts.\u00a0 You can collect power-ups of nitro (N), more time (T), speed boosts (S) and special tires (R).<\/p>\n

\"Motocross<\/a><\/p>\n

It took me a long time to figure out how to control the bike properly, because my usual instinct with racing games is to hammer on that accelerator and see what comes my way.\u00a0 But in “Motocross Mania”, you have to release the accelerator and use up and down on the direction pad to control your bike after you jump each ramp.<\/p>\n

\"Motocross<\/a><\/p>\n

It’s very tricky to get the hang of at first, but once you get a feel for it, this game is a fucking blast.<\/p>\n

\"Motocross<\/a><\/p>\n

On this example round, I ran out of time on the easiest course on the easiest setting…<\/p>\n

\"Motocross<\/a><\/p>\n

… and as usual I blame having to take my hand off the controller to take screenshots…<\/p>\n

\"Celia\"<\/a><\/p>\n

…but I also blame my new little friends, a couple of three-month-old kittens.\u00a0 Celia says:<\/p>\n

“-+++++96333333333333333”<\/em><\/p>\n

They like to bite controller cords.<\/p>\n

\"Motocross<\/a><\/p>\n

Playing full tilt is kind of hard on one’s thumbs, because there’s a lot of button pressing involved, but it’s just all kinds of riotous fun to lead your little biker through these courses just to see how they’ve been designed.\u00a0 For such a simple premise, a lot of care and attention went into designing these courses, and it pays off.<\/p>\n

\"Motocross<\/a><\/p>\n

Yay!<\/p>\n

\"Motocross<\/a><\/p>\n

Here’s a glimpse of the “VS. COMPUTER” mode.\u00a0 The computer player is in silhouette.\u00a0 Don’t worry, he falls off his bike sometimes too.<\/p>\n

This is a great, fun little racing game if you need something to plug into your original Game Boy.\u00a0 I think it’s worth checking out for the awesome music alone.\u00a0 Don’t pass this one over.<\/p>\n

Micro Machines 2 – Turbo Tournament (1994)<\/span><\/p>\n

\"Micro<\/a><\/p>\n

If you grew up in the 80s, then you remember Micro Machines.\u00a0 They’re dinky cars, but the motherfucking Ferraris of dinky cars.<\/p>\n

\"Micro<\/a><\/p>\n

And like all great and well-known products<\/a>, Micro Machines just had to have video games made eventually.\u00a0 There are two of these for the Game Boy, and the sequel is the better of them.<\/p>\n

\"Micro<\/a><\/p>\n

A few styles of gameplay are available.\u00a0 I played the single-player mode…<\/p>\n

\"Micro<\/a><\/p>\n

…”Challenge!” edition.<\/p>\n

\"Micro<\/a><\/p>\n

You get to choose one of about a dozen characters in this game.\u00a0 This is the default character, a man with a cowlick who only got as far as putting shaving cream on his face this morning.\u00a0 But he has sunglasses on, so you know he’s cool.<\/p>\n

\"Micro<\/a><\/p>\n

You can also choose to change the name, but his Momma named him “Spider”, so who am I to question that?<\/p>\n

\"Micro<\/a><\/p>\n

The first stage of the Challenge is “ATV Training Camp”.\u00a0 Remember that you are supposed to be racing toy cars around, so your surroundings are things like furniture and books and other household items.<\/p>\n

\"Micro<\/a><\/p>\n

Before each race, you get to see your opponents.\u00a0 I’m racing against a man of few words, a goth chick, and a paralegal.<\/p>\n

\"Micro<\/a><\/p>\n

And here we are being counted in.\u00a0 My vehicle is the lighter-outlined one on the top left.<\/p>\n

\"Micro<\/a><\/p>\n

This first course is way easy.\u00a0 I’m not sure exactly where the setting is supposed to be for this, but it’s an enclosed course, so you can bounce off the edges and you stay inside the track.\u00a0 It’s also kind of slow, especially compared to the course after it.<\/p>\n

A<\/strong> accelerates, B<\/strong> reverses and can be used to brake.\u00a0 Left is always left and right is always right.<\/p>\n

\"Micro<\/a><\/p>\n

That was easy.<\/p>\n

\"Micro<\/a><\/p>\n

Me and my shaving cream face qualified in first place.\u00a0 And Svelee (Suelee?\u00a0 Souffl\u00c1\u00a9?\u00a0 How do you pronounce that?)\u00a0 is happy that she doesn’t have to cut herself.\u00a0 Lisa’s pissed, and she will take it out on everyone at the office on Monday.\u00a0 Dwayne is a fucking idiot.\u00a0 He doesn’t even know what day it is.<\/p>\n

\"Micro<\/a><\/p>\n

Here we go with race number 2.<\/p>\n

\"Micro<\/a><\/p>\n

It’s me vs three different characters.<\/p>\n

\"Micro<\/a><\/p>\n

This race takes place on a workbench with a bunch of tools and stuff all around.\u00a0 And the difficulty has been ramped way up on this one.<\/p>\n

\"Micro<\/a><\/p>\n

That’s the end of a drill bit sticking out of a drill.\u00a0 That always seems to trip me up.<\/p>\n

\"Micro<\/a><\/p>\n

This course is not enclosed like the last one.\u00a0 I just went off the edge of the table.<\/p>\n

\"Micro<\/a><\/p>\n

I did it again.<\/p>\n

\"Micro<\/a><\/p>\n

And again.\u00a0 That poof of dust is my car hitting the floor.<\/p>\n

\"Micro<\/a><\/p>\n

And again, off the table.\u00a0 At least the parallax effects are nice.<\/p>\n

\"Micro<\/a><\/p>\n

Fuck!<\/p>\n

\"Micro<\/a><\/p>\n

Well, the difficulty curve from course one to course two is pretty fucking steep.\u00a0 I’m going to have to practice this one some more.\u00a0 Cherry looks stunned that she finished in third place, but how does she think I feel?\u00a0 I slathered shaving cream all over the bottom half of my face for nothing!\u00a0 Now I have to wipe it all off!\u00a0 And it’s probably dried up and sticky by now!<\/p>\n

\"Micro<\/a><\/p>\n

You do get more “continues” with this game, but I decided to call it a review at this point.\u00a0 I will be coming back to this one in the future.\u00a0 Even though I’m not as big of a fan of top-down racers as I am of third-person or first-person racers, this one is very well made and it has a bit of a novelty factor too.<\/p>\n

“Micro Machines 2 – Turbo Tournament” also gets a recommendation from me.\u00a0 If you have an oldschool Game Boy, see if you can get a cartridge somewhere.\u00a0 If you want to try this one on your PC, then I suggest the awesome BGB emulator<\/a> again.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

And now on Robotman’s blog, it’s time we put away our fancy, expensive home consoles and television sets and pick up a handheld system.\u00a0 Put on those pea-soup coloured glasses too, because it’s time to revisit the original Game Boy. Our specs are lowered again for this post.\u00a0 Not only are we going back to […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[510,474,38],"tags":[494,487],"class_list":["post-4914","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-reviews","category-video-game-consoles","category-video-games","tag-game-boy","tag-nintendo"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.gratuitousscience.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4914","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.gratuitousscience.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.gratuitousscience.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.gratuitousscience.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.gratuitousscience.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=4914"}],"version-history":[{"count":13,"href":"http:\/\/www.gratuitousscience.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4914\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4980,"href":"http:\/\/www.gratuitousscience.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4914\/revisions\/4980"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.gratuitousscience.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=4914"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.gratuitousscience.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=4914"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.gratuitousscience.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=4914"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}