{"id":955,"date":"2010-05-26T20:06:35","date_gmt":"2010-05-27T02:06:35","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.gratuitousscience.com\/?p=955"},"modified":"2010-05-26T20:08:32","modified_gmt":"2010-05-27T02:08:32","slug":"did-i-already-mention-this","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.gratuitousscience.com\/?p=955","title":{"rendered":"Did I already mention this?"},"content":{"rendered":"

Or “How to Generate a Generic Post on Robotman’s Blog”, Part 1.<\/p>\n

Seeing as how doing things twice (at the very least) is in vogue (see below), and seeing as how I’m very tired (OMG D\u00c1\u00a9j\u00c1\u00a0 vu!) I will now (superfluous parenthetical remark) prattle on and on (ad nauseam, ad infinitum) about precisely nothing that interests you – the reader – and only sort of occupies my frontal lobe for the time being until I have finished drinking my tea and have gone to bed.<\/p>\n

Let the painting by numbers begin!<\/p>\n

Step 1.<\/span>
\nType out long strings of words which are more or less structured into sentences.\u00a0 Use these sentences in an off the cuff way to describe something completely asinine and inane, throwing in some peculiar words so as to flaunt my expansive vocabulary.\u00a0 Make a self-deprecating remark that alludes to my relatively low station in life when contrasted with my mental acuity and lingual skill.\u00a0 For instance, the fact that while I weave these wonderful webs of words – to wow and to flutter the hearts of poets, dreamers and lovers – I stack boxes for money.<\/p>\n

Step 2.<\/span>
\nUse more words in grammatically correct sentences to convey just how much the first topic of discussion (that which you have just read) is both completely related and totally unrelated to this new topic of discussion – which happens to be something that I am certain you do not care about at all.<\/p>\n

Step 3.<\/span>
\nConstruct and inflict a truly shameful pun.\u00a0 Gnome Chomsky.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
\nStep 4.<\/span>
\nAdmit outright and in full that I did not, in fact, construct the aforementioned joke\/pun\/guffaw\/gag\/lol\/wut, and that I did, in fact, steal it from the vast and uncharted Interweb which floats about all around us like the aether.\u00a0 Carry on in a repeat, or in somewhat of a mutated imitation of Step 3 and post another stolen image without any attribution to my blog.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
\nStep 5.<\/span>
\nMake some non-sequitur comment and pretend that it is almost funny.\u00a0 Show that I am not content to leave it at that and then proceed to bash all sense and taste out of the subject matter at hand.\u00a0 This can also be accomplished with a stolen, uncredited image.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
\nStep 6.<\/span>
\nSteer the “discussion” inevitably to the topic of female androids.\u00a0 Make some oddly placed comment about how I wish I owned a beautiful female android.\u00a0 Write more filler text about other subjects while acknowledging only to my self that my expressed desire for a female android is the only thing that really makes sense in all these pages and pages and pages of poorly-written drivel.<\/p>\n

Step 7.<\/span>
\nGlance at the clock, realize that I should be going to bed and abruptly cut off this annoying and futile rant by expressing one of the following:<\/p>\n