Nice words that aren’t “Happy Birthday”

Okay, printer manufacturers, I’ve got you in my sights.


Greedy, avaricious, gluttonous scum-sucking lowlifes all of you!

I’m never buying an inkjet printer again.  For the amount of sheer hassle I get, for the wasted money spent on ink and paper when things fuck up, for having to shell out big fucking money for a new fucking printer instead of being able to fix my fucking printer, for not releasing proper drivers for Linux and for TELLING ME THERE’S NO INK LEFT IN THE FUCKING PRINTER CARTRIDGE AND NOT ALLOWING ME TO PRINT ANYTHING EVEN THOUGH THERE IS FUCKING INK LEFT IN THE FUCKING CARTRIDGE YOU FUCKING CRIMINALS!!!!!!!

Okay, I feel better now.  Where was I…….

Ah yes.  I’m going to buy a laserjet next time.    The cost will end up about the same.  And I’m going to look into getting something NOT made by Hewlett Packard.  My first inkjet was an HP 722C deskjet.  The fucking thing is built like a tank.  A tank that shoots out printed pages, but a tank nonetheless.

The only reason I can no longer use it is because HP no longer makes ink for it.  I got some replacement cartridges from another manufacturer, but they don’t work.  Not at all.

The only reason I had kept that thing around is because it’s the only printer I had that could print envelopes.  I just figured out how to do that on my newer printer, the one I want to destroy with a fucking hammer.  This new printer of mine is an HP C8180.  I think the most reliable part of that printer is the CD-DVD drive.  That’s not a joke, look down a few posts to see me talking about how I was playing a game on my PC using my printer.

This fucking printer though, is a god damned joke.  It has a touch-sensitive screen on the front.  Now, I think having a screen on a printer is a little like having a CD-DVD drive in a printer.  Nice, but not necessary.  This touch screen doesn’t display useful information as much as it displays FUCKING ADVERTISMENTS.  JESUS FUCKING CHRIST I’ve already bought the fucking printer.  I don’t need to be bombarded with ads every time I glance over at the fucking thing to see why it’s failed to fucking print AGAIN.

And this piece of shit fails to print more often than it prints.  It is continuously telling me it’s out of paper.  Fucking garbage.

On the plus side, the built-in scanner is fast.

On the minus side FUCK YOU HEWLETT PACKARD!!!

I remember their CEO was involved in some very sketchy practices a while back.  Do a Google search for pretexting + email + HP + CEO and you will get the whole sordid tale.  Lies are just good corporate practice, apparently.  Whatever pads the bottom line.

And she’s now a politician, after being forced out of her CEO position.

And some people wonder why this world is turning to shit.

I have to say it one more time…. FUCK YOU HEWLETT PACKARD!!!

That’s not even all I have to say about bad printers… I have a doozy of a story to tell about a piece of shit I bought from the criminal ass-rapers at Dymo.

Till next time!