Have I done a Black Sabbath song before here? Let me check.
Negative.
Fuck, I’m going to betray Humanity when the robots take over, I just know it. How could I resist a hot android chick who strides mechanically up to me and seduces me with her synthetic charms?
Then again, the rest of you have nothing to worry about because I’m not exactly… ahem… one of the most valuable members of society. I don’t think the robots will find me useful. Interesting… possibly. Useful… nope.
So I’ll be fucking dead too.
Time to talk about the song! Hooray!
If you dun clicked on that link, then you’re probably hearing Ozzy’s magnificent screech right about now. I have often wondered what this song is about. It closes a very fine Black Sabbath album. I like “Sabotage” better than “Sabbath Bloody Sabbath”, and currently better than “Vol. 4”. Let’s forget that “Technical Ecstasy” and “Never Say Die” ever happened.
So what is this song about? Is it about God? Satan? Coke? Pepsi? Subaru? Mount Pinatubo?
I guess it’s open to interpretation because Wikipedia doesn’t have an article about the song. Ozzy was doing LOTS of coke and LOTS of booze by 1975, which is kind of sad because it made him difficult to work with, according to the other band members. I saw an interview on some VHS tape I bought long ago that told the tale of how the band members were messing around with cocaine after the release of “Master of Reality”. They all liked it (everyone who tries coke likes it and if they say they don’t they’re lying) but 75% of the band realized that it was ultimately a bad thing to be addicted to it.
Ozzy said so too, but while they were recording albums after “Vol. 4”, Ozzy would sneak off behind an amp to have a toot while claiming that he was no longer doing it. Yeah, they’ll never notice, Ozzy.
But I don’t need to go in to detail about how Ozzy lost control of his life. He’s Sharon’s pet now. Oh, fuck, I better not say that. She’ll have her people hunt me down and kill me. Or worse, she’ll get them to throw eggs at me like she got people to throw eggs at Iron Maiden.
Mind the eggs, please.
Maybe I’ll make tomorrow’s Song of the Day a song called “Digital Bitch”, which is also by Black Sabbath. It was on the album that Ian Gillan helped them make. That song is “allegedly” about Sharon Osbourne.
Or maybe I won’t. You’re learning a lot about this song aren’t you? Remember how I was going to be discussing “The Writ” by Black Sabbath”? Yeah, that kind of got derailed. It kind of got derailed by a Crazy Train.
Of thought. A crazy train of thought. All kidding aside, he sure looked fucking stupid in the mid 80s. That was his “Fat Vegas Elvis” phase, I guess. Even without the orange plastic teeth, he looks like a fat hair-sprayed white-trash trailer park mom out at the bingo hall.
But I sure hope he keeps rocking for a long time. I don’t have any of his latest stuff, but just knowing that Ozzy is still kicking gives me solace.
Oh, this song is about Avogadro’s constant.