YEEEEEHAW!!!!!
Here’s a live rendition of this song because that’s all I could find.
Now… I’m not a fan of Country Music. However, this band allows all kinds of exceptions. These guys are fucking brilliant, and they make a very enjoyable Hillbilly/Gospel/Punk kind of mix with as much wit, heart and soul as you could possibly want in a band.
Their lyrics are absolute genius. This one tells quite a tale, I don’t know how the fuck they ever came up with it, but just read the lyrics:
I was standing inside the corner
Of my country
When for the first time ever
An airplane came chose to speed over me
The pilot he gave me a secret special hello
He shook his wings at me.
The copilot threw down a cutting from a cut down tree
I guess he did not know,
I cannot cipher I cannot read
And so I did not know
What these men in the sky
Wanted from me
Goddamn I know
The Lord Made me slow
Goddamn I know
The Lord made me slow
I followed the plane it circled round
it landed on main street of my home town
the pilot and copilot stepped out
and set up shop by the tailpiece
The copilot gets a nod from the pilot
He clears his throat start softly talking he said
“We’re with the government
and if you want to be part of our nation
We know you slow country people we need your service
Mark of Vaccination”
Well he must of caught a cold riding around in all that open air machinery
cause when he was done speechifying
he let out a deep whooping cough
that landed on my arm
well yeah me coming from good manners and good people
Well I just rolled up my sleeve so as not to cause him any shame.
and then the copilot looks at me and he says this right here,
“Well boy I guess you’s going to be the first to volunteer”
And I says, “Why, is there going to be some fighting?”
“Oh, theres going to be some fighting all right”
Then the copilot and pilot they looked at each other and laughed just a little bit
And when I think about it, I think they might have been laughing at me
But I really dont’ know
Cause I’m just so goddamn slow.
Goddamn I know
The Lord Made me slow
goddamn I know
The Lord made me slow
And then the copilot rips out this horse sized needle
and he gouges me in the arm
Well it was just below my sleeve roll
And the pain it knocked me down to my business end
yeah well then my cousin came and ripped the hypodermic out of my muscle
And turned his revenge upon the men
And though I had much pain, I had to laugh
Because he hypodermicized their tires
Now the high falootin government machine is moving as slow as me
Now the high falootin government machine is moving as slow as me
All across the nation
all across this great nation
moving as slow as me
Goddamn I know
The Lord made me slow(4x)
The Lord made me slow.
My god, that could be made into a little film. Maybe set to music. Maybe even set to this song!
And that’s pretty much all I have to say about this song… because all I can think of right now is phone sex. I’m getting over my ultra-flu and it no longer hurts to talk, though I do hope I don’t get stuck with a coughing fit while I’m on the phone.
We shall see.
SCIENCE!!!