Category Archives: Miscellaneous

A free $25 gift you say?

So I just got an email from my phone service provider.  I’m not going to name names, but they operate as virtual monopolies whether you live in the US or Canada, so they’re all about as horrible and I despise them all about as much.  Except Telus.  Fuck Telus.  I hate them the most.  And […]

Ensure Pizza Dumping Envy

The title of this blog post is brought to you by automated means. I’m grumpy and cranky and listening to Italian disco songs from the late 70s and early 80s.  I work for people who are crooked liars.  But now I’m bringing you down.  Sorry about that. Anyway, there is absolutely no reason for me […]

R.I.P. Shitty Kitty (1992 – 2012)

I am very sad right now because my beloved cat Lisa AKA Shitty Kitty died today.  She was my little grey sidekick.   She was 20 years old, and up until a couple of months ago, she still bounced around and played like a little kitten.  She loved me more than she loved anything or anyone, […]

Oh, Spammers, you funny!

You will never see any approved spam comments on this here blog.  Spam comments are so damn easy to spot, it’s like I’ve set up the ultimate filter for them. The ultimate filter I says! Here’s how it works.  You see the content of this blog?  You see how it is composed?  It’s mainly stupid […]

Osanna!

No, no holy shoutings!  Donkeys not withstanding!  Ass! This post has nothing to do with Palm Sunday.  Nor does it have anything to do with the band Chicago, who has fast become one of my very favorite bands ever, as long as I pretend they broke up in 1974. No, this is about an old […]

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Top Primate!

(or “I have had it with these motherfucking migraines on this motherfucking plane (of existence)) (or “I have had it with these monkey-fighting snakes on this Monday to Friday plane“) So, if you’ve read my crappy blog at all… and God, why would you?  Anyway, if you have, then you have no doubt read all […]

So much for predictions.

Bah.  I was gonna blog.  I used to blog.  Now I just work.  Bah. So what’s changed in Robotman’s life recently?  I have had all hope beaten out of me, for one thing.  But do not despair!  I’m only talking about my job.  I’ve got plenty of hope outside of my shitty job of being […]

A fun weekend of doing as little as possible

As little work as possible, that is.  I’ve been really busy this weekend with more Mikeification of more Jimi Hendrix.  The process shouldn’t have taken three weeks.  It doesn’t take more than about an hour to do an album.  But I have zero time during the week to get fun stuff like this done, so […]

It’s Summertime!

Well break out the fucking pointy party hats and such because Calgary is getting some nice weather again.  We’re not breaking any records, I’m sure, but this is the kind of weather we usually get in July and August.  And it will be here for a week.  And it’s probably the reason why I was […]

Sorry about the lack of posts lately

Yeah.  What he said.  I have no fucking time to myself any more.  Grumble.  And I had one of the worst headaches I’ve ever had in my life today.  I trust you, oh reader, are doing better.

Unhinged rant about how I don’t have any fucking time to myself

RAGE!!!! There,  I feel better. So, you may have noticed that I haven’t been updating my blog every day like I used to.  Well, amid all the exemplary dumbassery, epic moronitude and gobsmacked dontgiveafuckness of my blog, you may have noticed that I frequently bitch, whine, moan and otherwise complain about how much time I […]

But who will read the Watchmen?

So, I went yesterday from reading about the worst movie ever made to the best comic book ever made. I am of course, talking about “Sexdroids in Space“. Kidding.  That’s just my personal favourite. No, I mean the Alan Moore written masterpiece “Watchmen”.  I had heard people say it was good, etc, and so on, […]

Uncle Furry’s never heard of Second Life?

Say it ain’t so!  I mean, for years, the joke has been that Second Life is full of furries… and here we have a fine full featured friendly furry who’s never even HEARD of it. This must change. Here is the link to Second Life. And here are some screenshots from Second Life: Okay, so […]

So much for being productive

Well, I tested CivII on my other computer.  Lasted, well, up to a few minutes ago.  My god, I can waste SO MUCH time with that game.  It’s like crack.  Crack that lasts more than 12 minutes, but crack nonetheless.  So needless to say, I only have time to drink some tea, read some news […]

Exhaustion time again

And I sleep early.  Goodnight.

truncated verbiage spew

So with all the blabber I’ve been spewing about my new Roomba, I don’t think I’ve relayed just how much I like having it do the vacuuming.  Now that it’s not afraid of falling through my black carpet, I can rest assured that it will keep my carpets nice and clean, and deal with all […]

A problem with Cliff

No, not this Cliff. No, not this Cliff. Something more like these cliffs: You see, my Roomba has what are called “Cliff Sensors”.  These are 4 little infrared sensors that point downward at the front edge of the vacuum.  These sensors will stop the Roomba from going over the edge of a staircase, so in […]

Windows “Security” rant

Windows started life as a stand-alone workstation OS.  Which is fine, if you don’t want any of that “networking” stuff bogging you down.  Back in the 80s, when Bill Gates was actually writing code alongside his Microsoft cohorts, and when Max Headroom stuttered his way into our hearts… No one wanted or needed to connect […]

Robot invasion – day 3

Have I mentioned yet how freaked out my cat is by the Roomba?  My parents’ orange cat is rather freaked out by it too, though he’s a little braver.  This is him: In spirit anyway.  He is fond of biting me.  And here’s a cloud that looks like a lion cub: And here’s the clouds […]

Robot invasion – day 2

So far so good.  I’ve got the Roomba all charged and I’ve settled into the habit of cleaning the bin and brushes out every 5 minutes.  Supposedly, this only needs to be done at the end of every cleaning cycle, but my floor is way fucking dirty.  I’m almost ashamed to admit how much cat […]

Robot invasion – day 1

You just knew that me talking about my new Roobma would give me plenty of chances to make bad jokes and gratuitously insert pictures of sexy female robots… didn’t you? I’d rumba with her any day. Okay, let’s get to the topic at hand now.  I am now the proud owner of my very first […]

An assemblage of the finest minds

Here is a very interesting picture. Almost everyone (except for you Sharla, because you’re as dumb as you are gorgeous) will recognize Albert Einstein.  But take a look at those names.  You may recognize some others now.  This is a snapshot of where modern physics and cosmology comes from… pretty much. And here’s another similar […]

Friday night… Hooray!

After the gruelling week I just had, the only thing I can think to do with a full weekend ahead of me now is sleep. But not before I whine a little first.  I just had to fill in for my boss for 2 weeks + 1 day.  I’m capable of doing everything he does, […]

It seems I write like David Foster Wallace

While surfing reddit.com, I found a funny picture: Immediately, I thought I’d have to give this “I Write Like” website a try, and so I entered in the following text from Chapter 75 (Feeling) of my own novel “H is for Heuristic“: The woman beside Byron was warm, but unyielding and still. She was dressed […]

One hail of a storm

I bitch about the weather a lot, but sometimes the weather in Calgary can be damn exciting.  As long as you don’t suffer hail damage.  That sucks. But today around the middle of the day there was an INTENSE hail storm around here.  My mother says it was the biggest hail she’s ever seen.  It […]

Deep in the midst of Redneckfest

So you may or may not have heard of the Calgary Stampede.  Also, you may or may not care.  I for one do not.  I don’t like 99.99999% of Country Music and I don’t fancy cowboy culture, attire, mannerisms, or anything else associated with cowpoke folk and local yokels smoking yolk over oak and soaking […]

The Robots are coming

Here on Gratuitous Science, I like to get gratuitous with the science.  When I say “The Robots are coming”… does that make you feel like this? Or this? Does it conjure up images like this? Or this? Well, I’m talking right now about this: Yes, I’m going to finally buy my first robot.  I’m disappointed […]

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Technically, I’m being monetarily rewarded for pushing myself literally to exhaustion every week.  So I guess this is worth it.  Goodnight.

No post tonight

I need to get to sleep ASAP.

Happy Canada Day!

And this is the Can-O-The-Day So, I suppose I should reflect on things Canadian today.  I intend on having some BC salmon today.  That’s Canadian.  I have several product packages within reach that are printed with both French and English.  That’s Canadian.  I have a fondness for beautiful and voluptuous female androids that are programmed […]

I never get to do fun stuff on a Friday

I wanted to play on the phone again tonight, but I’m too damn tired.  So here’s a funny comic instead. And because I’m such a nice guy, here’s your chance to download a version of Adobe Photoshop for free!  Yes indeed!  Just save this link and you’ll have your very own copy of Adobe Photoshop!  […]

Another post where I bitch about the weather

It’s raining like the blazes here right now.  How do the blazes rain, you ask?  You’re asking, perhaps, the wrong fellow as I am not in much of a coherent mood right now.  And if you suspect that this post will devolve into a rant about the weather, you just might be correct. See, Calgary’s […]

Tonight no posty…. sleepy….

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz……..

Kitty corner

Ah, Vegetation Day.  Actually, I took yesterday off as a day of vacation, so I’ve already had a day of doing nothing.  But I did stuff yesterday.  In fact, I was quite busy. Since moving back into my parents’ house, I’ve had to put up with the fact that it’s not my house and I […]

Here’s a funny story about Yvonne.

Yvonne was a woman I worked with at my first job.  She was one of the most annoying people I have ever met.  She had a habit of talking in a “baby talk” voice all the fucking time.  She smoked like a chimney and always smelled of cigarettes.  Her and her husband were miserly to […]

Peer pressure: All the cool kids are wearing plastic bags on their heads.

These are some things.  Not a few of my favorite things, but just some things I know. My parents’ 18 year old orange cat took over my new guitar’s case within a time span of five seconds I like big butts and I can not lie I’m sleepy I wish my parents were millionaires On […]

Jonesin’ bad and really fucking tired

Here’s a predictable statement from me… I need to talk to one of those sexy NiteFlirt ladies in a MAJOR way.  I didn’t get to play at all last week because of all the tired and sore I brought home from work. And that statement segues quite nicely into this next one: I’m hella fucking […]

A tale of three bodies

First, something I have to get out of the way.  Is it wrong to want 500 robot copies of Zooey Deschanel? Apparently this scene is from a movie.  And apparently these aren’t supposed to be androids in that movie.  What a wasted opportunity.  Anyway, If I can’t have 500 robot copies of Zooey Deschanel, I’ll […]

Eight Plungers?!

This is related to the post directly below about my seven guitars.

I am a raccoon

Why, you ask, am I a raccoon? Here are the facts: I am a lovable scamp with a fluffy and ringed tail My adorable whiskers twitch when I sniff around for morsels of food I wash my food in a stream before I eat it I have large black circles under my eyes Now it’s […]

Tonight’s post….

… has been canceled due to my rather excruciating and disorienting weather headache.  Here is a funny picture that makes a good point.

So I’m a porn star now

Well… sort of. Actually, “sort of” is kind of exaggerating.  Let’s say “almost” or – to be even more accurate – “not really”. What I’m trying to dance-around and not actually say involves phone sex.  It’s expensive, but it’s so much fun.  And today, I have… well, I’d better not say too much about it.  […]

State of the Art

Vegetation day again Ah, the rest period. The time to sit.  The time not to act.  The time to marvel at how I got 12 hours of sleep overnight, and how I just got up from a 4 hour nap and I’m still tired. But my feet don’t hurt as much as they did yesterday.  […]

Did I already mention this?

Or “How to Generate a Generic Post on Robotman’s Blog”, Part 1. Seeing as how doing things twice (at the very least) is in vogue (see below), and seeing as how I’m very tired (OMG Déjà vu!) I will now (superfluous parenthetical remark) prattle on and on (ad nauseam, ad infinitum) about precisely nothing that […]

Double take

Why stop at one when you can have two? Everybody likes twins! Okay, before I get totally derailed here again… no, hold up, I’m going to indulge in this for a while.  These are the Barbi Twins. Back in the 90s, I was SURE they were androids.  Look at those blank stares!  Look at those […]

Nothing much

Family Guy’s jokes are usually pretty contrived, and one can usually see them coming from six blocks away.  But sometimes they’re done so awesomely that one has to admire them. Like this. Anyway, this was supposed to be a day for me to get all kinds of stuff done, but I had to sit around […]

Civ2, Russian around, and Rasslin

So, there’s another day wasted.  All I did today was read news, funny stuff and assorted articles on Wikipedia while I played Civilization II.  I’m Russian.  Actually, in real life my dad is an ethnic German Russian.  A Volga German. So I do claim a certain affinity with things Russian.  Especially this: Okay, so I […]

Crows are smart

I’m gonna tell a tale now about boids.  Smaht boids. Why can’t I ever find that Far Side comic online?  You know, the one where the police are gathered around Big Bird’s lifeless body and the detective is examining the bullets on the floor and he says “Bird shot.  Big bird shot.” I wish I […]

Night of the Living Flu

The Flu that Wouldn’t Die! Verrry Scarrry! Yes, it’s back.  It never really went away, and now I’m toasting my sneezes, my coughing and my runny nose with more cough syrup.  I haven’t had anything stick around this long since I had Bronchitis.  Bleh.